That Jersey Girl

This is why I finally wrote and published this blog. After looking around the internet I found mostly glossy, uber positive, almost caricatures of CRPs/RSD, blogs. But for me, it’s not all flowers and positive quotes, though usually I am praised for my enthusiasm and positivity. Some days there are no amount of pretty words to be said… Sometimes the day just has to end. And it made me feel so bad about myself. Like great, I’m even failing at being sick!

But for a while, I felt I was required to try to be sweet and peppy…. It felt like a lie. But I tried for a little while only posting positive parts of my day. Let me tell ya how horribly that has backfired! So many people took my minimal adjustment to my life circumstances as my recovering. I’m not. I always use an architectural¬†reference…

Let me tell ya how horribly that has backfired! So many people took my minimal adjustment to my life circumstances as my recovering. I’m not. I always use an architectural¬†reference… Handicap ramps must rise for one foot for every inch of rise…. So every healthy, normal step you see me do take cost me 11 inches. Things do come harder when you’re always in agonizing pain. ¬†So I decided I need to say this all. Because I can’t be the only person out there.

After a while I decided to stop writing for others and start journaling for myself. I decided I to say honestly how this feels. Other people are feeling like they are “failing at CRPS”, like we’re hazing to get into the sorority with the super secret decoder ring that will suddenly make us bloom. Guess what! There is no decoder ring. We all are different. And that’s ok.